Befriending Anxiety: Embracing the Human Exeprience
Anxiety, that restless hum beneath the surface of our lives, often feels like an unwelcome guest—one who barges in uninvited, overstays their welcome, and leaves us questioning why we’re feeling the way we do. It tightens its grip on our chests, spinning our minds into an endless loop of “what ifs,” and makes the world simultaneously feel too much and not enough. We try to wrestle it into submission or drown it out with distraction. But what if anxiety isn’t just a nuisance to be eradicated? What if it’s something far more intrinsic—a fundamental part of being human?
Anxiety as a fundamental part of existence
To exist is to feel. And to feel intensely is to encounter uncertainty, vulnerability, and the weight or the lightness of our impermanence. Anxiety, in many ways, is the shadow cast by our awareness of life’s fragility and unpredictability. The 20th-century philosopher Søren Kierkegaard called anxiety “the dizziness of freedom,” a natural response to the infinite possibilities and responsibilities that come with being alive. In his view, anxiety isn’t merely a symptom of something gone wrong; it’s a sign that we are awake to the profound complexity of life itself.
This perspective shifts anxiety from a pathological state to one that is existential. A fundamental part of being. It is there because we care: about our futures, our relationships, our planet, about others that we share our world with. It reminds us that we are deeply connected to this world in ways that are both beautiful and terrifying.
But while anxiety may be inevitable and a fundamental part of us, its intensity can sometimes overwhelm us. When it spirals out of control, it can feel less like a companion and more like a captor—one that holds us hostage in our own minds. So how do we live with this paradox? How do we embrace anxiety as part of life without letting it consume us?
Understanding anxiety
The first step is understanding that anxiety is not your enemy. It’s not here to ruin you; it’s here to alert you—to make you pay attention. In its healthiest form, anxiety is like an overzealous friend who wants to protect you from harm but doesn’t always know how to communicate effectively. When we stop seeing anxiety as an adversary and listen to what it’s trying to tell us, we can begin to untangle its messages.
When anxiety shows up we may ask ourselves:
• What am I afraid of losing?
• What uncertainty am I resisting?
• What unmet need or unresolved fear might my anxiety be pointing toward?
These questions don’t have easy answers, but sitting with them—gently and without judgment—may help transform anxiety from an oppressive force into a guide that illuminates areas of your life that need care and attention.
Befriending anxiety: Is it possible?
Befriending anxiety doesn’t mean liking it or inviting it for tea every day. It simply means acknowledging its presence without resistance. Our moods and emotions are there for a reason - they point to something that requires attention. Trying to resist or ignore them
Being is confusing - my anxiety says so
To live is to wrestle with paradoxes: joy and sorrow, hope and despair, certainty and doubt. Anxiety is one of them —a source of simultaneous suffering and insight. It reminds us that life is uncertain but also full of possibility; that we are vulnerable but also resilient; and that we may never know with certainty what it means to be living.
By learning to coexist with our anxiety—to listen to it without letting it scare us into a corner, we can perhaps transform it from an overwhelming force into a quiet teacher. This may tell us something important: even our most terrifying emotions have something valuable to offer us if we’re willing to meet them with curiosity instead of judgment.
